Friday, August 21, 2015

How a Showgirl Avoids a Traffic Ticket

Maren Wade's Confessions of a Showgirl: How a Showgirl Avoids a Traffic Ticket
Maren Wade's Confessions of a Showgirl: How a Showgirl Avoids a Traffic Ticket


Click here to see in Las Vegas Weekly

Improvising is a showgirl necessity. Shows don’t always go according to plan and when that happens, it’s a showgirl’s job to make sure the show goes on.

But improvising is also a skill that comes in handy in everyday life. I encourage everyone to try it. For instance, just last week, I was driving my car and talking to my friend on the phone, when I realized I was being pulled over by a cop! I immediately hung up on my friend, stopped at the side of the road and waited for the officer to approach.

Officer: “Do you realize I’m pulling you over because you were talking on your phone?”

My improvisational instincts kicked in, and I felt the need to explain to the officer that this was not how it looked.

Me: “Officer, I appreciate your concern but I can assure you, I was not talking on my phone.”

Officer: “You’re gonna tell me that the phone wasn’t up to your ear just a second ago while you were driving?”

Me: “Well, I can see how it looked that way. You see … I was actually adjusting the sunglasses on my head and I happened to have the phone in my hand. So that’s why it looked like the phone was up to my ear.”

Officer: “And why were your lips moving while your phone was up to your ear?”

(Here’s where it really pays to be a showgirl.)

Me: “I’m a singer. I was singing.”

Then I gave him a winning showgirl smile.

Trouble was, since I had hung up on my friend so quickly, she was worried something was wrong and she kept calling, which was really inconvenient.

Officer: “Are you going to answer that?”

Me: “Who, me? No, never when I’m in the car.”

Officer: “So here’s the thing. You can tell me the truth or you can explain it to the court. But you’ve now changed your story several times and that’s not gonna fly in a court of law.”

Me: “I don’t think it’s that I’ve changed my story. I think … it’s that I didn’t understand your question.”

Officer: “You expect me to believe that?”

Me: “Well, which part don’t you believe … because I can work on that part.”

Okay, I have a confession to make. I didn’t say the second half. But I was thinking it would be a lot easier for the both of us if I could figure out which part he didn’t believe.

Officer: “When was the last time you got a ticket?”

Me: “You know, I honestly can’t recall the last time I got a ticket.”

Officer: “Let me see your license and registration.”

I opened up my glove compartment and would you believe a ticket fell out?! And then my friend started calling again.

Officer: “Is that a ticket? Let me see it.”

Me: “Oh, I thought you meant a ticket for talking on the phone. This was just for speeding ... and it was just a warning.”

I handed it over.

Meanwhile, my friend just kept calling me. I couldn’t hear anything the officer was asking. Had he given me a little more notice before pulling me over, I would have been able to put my phone on vibrate. This whole situation could have been avoided.

Luckily, the officer let me off with a warning, probably because of my seasoned improvisational skills. Or maybe he let me off because it was my first time talking on the phone while driving. Either way, I just had to share the good news. As soon as the officer drove away, I called my friend to tell her what happened, hands free of course.

Don’t worry. I definitely learned my lesson. You only have to warn me once. I mean, twice.

Okay, I have another confession to make. It was actually three times, but the other one was for not stopping at a stop sign. So really, they’re all unrelated.

Monday, August 3, 2015

A Showgirl's Ultimate Showdown

Click here to see in Las Vegas Weekly

If there’s one thing a showgirl knows how to do, it’s everything. Okay, maybe not everything, but she knows how to go all in. You can throw a showgirl in any situation and she’ll give you grace, glamour and 110 percent. If the job calls for 200 percent, she’ll give 210. If it calls for 300, then a showgirl will raise you to infinity!

Okay, I have a confession to make: I don’t gamble very often, but you get where I’m going with this.

A showgirl is always up for a challenge. She has an innate drive to step out of her comfort zone and push herself. Becoming a showgirl takes years of grueling work and determination. She has to want it so badly that she can stand the rejection. She has to take that rejection and turn it into a positive. But most of all, she has to have a great poker face. She’s gotta plaster on that smile and bring joy to every performance, regardless of what goes on behind it.

Lauren Clark was a quiet and shy little girl from Los Angeles. At four years old, her mother put her in dance class. At her first tap recital she just stood onstage, frozen in fear, like a deer caught in the headlights. Lauren’s mother was terrified her daughter’s stage experience would scar her for life. Her mother waited anxiously backstage, ready to wipe away her daughter’s tears. When Lauren had finished her performance, she had never been more excited in her whole life.

Mind you, at four years old, I would imagine she hadn’t had that many exciting experiences yet, other than eating solid foods and maybe walking. But anyway, my point is she had a gift for the poker face. She had to learn how to reverse it so that the smile was on the outside, but that didn’t take long to master. By five years old, she was a pro.

Lauren went on to push herself in extraordinary ways. She attended the Alvin Ailey Summer Intensive and landed a role in Jubilee!, which brought her to Vegas. Currently, she’s a stunning showgirl in Vegas! The Show, but perhaps her most extraordinary journey is the one she is taking now.

Lauren was diagnosed with breast cancer earlier this year. With no time to process the news, she had two days to tell her cast and crew before traveling to LA for surgery. She’s currently in chemotherapy and is determined to be performing at the same time. She has had three of six treatments and recently went back to try and perform in Vegas! The therapy makes her weak and short of breath, which makes it hard for her to work.

Her goal was to perform through the entire show. She was able to make it halfway before the treatment's side effects got the better of her. As difficult as it was, she kept her poker face on the entire time. Inside she was screaming with frustration, but outside, all the audience could see was her beautiful smile lighting up the stage.

Offstage, Lauren couldn’t hold it back any longer. A flurry of emotions came rushing in. She was so frustrated that cancer had taken so much away from her. But at the same time, she was touched and grateful for her cast mates who didn’t hesitate to leap right in and finish the show for her.

Being able to dance, even for half a show, gave her a piece of her life back. But what she may not realize is that she’s an inspiration to everyone around her, especially her fellow “pink sisters,” women fighting breast cancer.

Whether it’s Lauren’s glamorous Instagram selfies, where she’s in her costume with her beautiful new short ‘do, or her posts to remind everyone to #FeelitontheFirst to promote breast cancer awareness, her openness in sharing her journey has encouraged countless others to smile through life and rise to the challenge.

Cancer treatments are extremely expensive and insurance doesn’t cover it all. If you would like to support Lauren on her journey, visit her GoFundMe page and follow her on Instagram.